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    Wednesday, 1 February 2017

    Stupidity Wrapped In Ketchup by Onaoluwa Abimbola

    I used to have a next door neighbour.

    I thought he was crazy, I still think so, but he was a little smart.

    Although my scientific knowledge says his smartness was stupidity wrapped in ketchup.

    So, what did he do?

    More like, what does he do?

    He sleeps around with a lot of girls.

    Dude must think he is the next best thing to chocolate or perhaps the naive campus girls he hooks up with think so.

    Anyway, after a month of staying in the flat next to his apartment, I noticed something weird.

    This guy would run HIV screening tests on every girl he wanted to have over for the night.

    Talk about idiot demon levels.

    On my way to work the day after, I would see the test kit and other trappings used for performing the test.

    First time I saw that, I was gobsmacked.

    First the idea of a home screening test for HIV was funny...

    That it was a litmus test for deciding whether to shag was way stupid.

    You want to know why?

    The Determine Kit only detects the HIV after Seroconversion.

    May be up to 3 months after infection had taken place... But, the transmission of the virus can still take place within that period.

    More sensitive testing methods are not yet available for home use. So my neighbour was apparently only fooling himself.

    Now, why am I sharing this story?

    Recently, there has been an upsurge in attendees of the HIV Seropositive ART clinic.

    In simple English, that is more HIV positive people. Lots of them beautiful and handsome as heck...

    Plus, the excitement of February 14 usually means more babies nine months later and lots of abortions in the first three months after... Proof that many just forget that condoms exist or they manage to tear a hole in them when the heat is on.

    Now, HIV is no longer a death sentence, but before deciding that you would like to enjoy the experience of becoming dependent on a drug regimen and other stuff that naturally come with HIV diagnosis, do weigh your options.

    Before you throw all caution to the wind in a bid to appear like an enlightened babe/guy, do reconsider.

    In these days of the glorification of multiple hookups and sexcapades, it would be wise to remember the sad effects of not sticking with the A - Abstinence.

    And if you are a little under-achieving , go for the B - Be faithful.

    When the worst scenario presents itself and you can only manage a C -  Condomise biko.

    Never let it be that of failure or free-to-air options in a non-marital relationship.

    And one would imagine what it would look like unwrapping stupidity wrapped in ketchup?

    Ciao... And here is to a February full of only beautiful surprises.


    Written by
    Onaoluwa Abimbola
    01 February 2017

    evals blog

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